Hey, everyone. Odysseus, here. I'm the King of Ithaca and I've
been fighting in the Trojan War for the last ten years. Now, I'm all
ready to head home. It will be a long journey, so I thought I'd keep a
blog so that I can tell everyone where I'm at in my trip and what I'm
doing.
First, I should probably tell you a little bit about where I've been (a Trojan Horse doesn't get the best cell reception, so I'm a little behind on updating everyone with my Tweets #EpicHeroProblems).
Like I said, I've been a soldier in the Trojan War for the past decade. The whole thing started when the Prince of Troy, Paris, stole the beautiful Helen, from her husband Menelaus. She was gorgeous, and his wife, so naturally, Menelaus was a little ticked. He convinced his brother Agamemnon to send an army to attack Troy and get Helen back.
A bloody war over this woman raged on for the next ten years outside the walls of Troy. I was tired of it all; I just wanted to go home to my wife and son, Penelope and Telemachus. So one night at camp, I thought to myself, "If only we could get inside the walls. Then we'd have a better chance." I came up with the brilliant idea of building a huge horse out of wood and making it hollow on the inside. Here's an Instagram I took of it:
We put the horse right outside the gates of Troy, and we all hid
inside it. The Trojans saw it and thought it was some kind of gift or a
message of surrender, so they brought it inside their city and
celebrated, having no idea that the whole Greek army was inside. Once
they were all asleep, taking over the city was a piece of cake, and the
war soon ended.
So now, I'm finally on a ship home with a crew of a few men. Sure, the journey will probably be long and difficult, but there's no way it can be longer than 10 years or more difficult than a war, right?
First, I should probably tell you a little bit about where I've been (a Trojan Horse doesn't get the best cell reception, so I'm a little behind on updating everyone with my Tweets #EpicHeroProblems).
Like I said, I've been a soldier in the Trojan War for the past decade. The whole thing started when the Prince of Troy, Paris, stole the beautiful Helen, from her husband Menelaus. She was gorgeous, and his wife, so naturally, Menelaus was a little ticked. He convinced his brother Agamemnon to send an army to attack Troy and get Helen back.
A bloody war over this woman raged on for the next ten years outside the walls of Troy. I was tired of it all; I just wanted to go home to my wife and son, Penelope and Telemachus. So one night at camp, I thought to myself, "If only we could get inside the walls. Then we'd have a better chance." I came up with the brilliant idea of building a huge horse out of wood and making it hollow on the inside. Here's an Instagram I took of it:
So now, I'm finally on a ship home with a crew of a few men. Sure, the journey will probably be long and difficult, but there's no way it can be longer than 10 years or more difficult than a war, right?
